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Teenie Palace review

Reviewed by CB, 2006-01-04
Categories: 18-23, Babes, Movies, Videos, Hardcore, Lesbian
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Review summary: Teenie Palace is about hard-core teen solo and lesbian action. Access to over 200,000 teen photos and 600+ gigs of movies in most every speed. A lot of third party content.

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About Our Ratings

Intro promises

- Access to more than 200,000 high resolution (1024x768+) super hot teen photos
- Access to over 500 full screen adult DVDs featuring Taylor Rain, Gauge, and tons more
- Access to more than 20,000 Live teen cam girls
- Daily updates
- Over 600 Gigs of Movies - Every speed and always extremely fast downloading
- Tons of member extras like tips on seducing girls, erotic audio stories, adult jokes and more. Stop reading this and join already, what have you got to lose?!

First impression

As you may guess by the name, this Teenie Palace focuses on “teen” content. The kind of teens that are actually in their early twenties. I guess “teen” is synonymous with “young-looking”. And that seems to be what you'll find here. The models here seem to be of the professional variety, all young 'n' petite and ready for some action.

Our opinion

Well, at first glance there seems to be a whole lot of stuff on Teenie Palace. Then, with a closer look I'm realizing that quite a bit of it is third-party content. And it seems to be all mixed together without much order. Hopefully it's easier to sort through this than I think it will be.

The main page displays links to all of the content on the site, as well as a menu bar at the top of the page where you can quickly jump to any section you want to view. There is a fair bit of advertising that's disguised as legitimate parts of the site. For instance, the link where you can 'learn about penis pills' is really just an ad for a particular brand of pill, not an educational piece of writing. Links to sex tips and techniques, and advice on how to pick up girls take you not to informative articles, but to sites that you have to pay for. First of all, it's annoying to have to sort through all of this crap to find something that is actually part of the site I paid for. Secondly, it generates A LOT of clutter on the site. Let's see if we can find the exclusive content...

The Movies tab in the menu bar takes us to the real goods. Here you will find five pages of vids, 76 shoots in all, presented as thumbs that link to a download page. Here the movies are divided into clips you can download in a variety of formats: 56K, 300K, and 700K WMV, and 500k and 1000K (1 mbps) MPG. A few series give you the option of downloading the whole movie, but most do not have that feature. Many of the series have only the MPG formats available for the final clip...very strange, especially when the rest of the clips in the series are available in all formats. All movies are 320x240 / 25 fps, and the high quality options for both formats look and sound very good. 1000k MPG vids are about 25MB in size, while the 700k WMV clips are around the 15MB mark. Strangely enough, the clips seem to differ between each quality choice. For instance, if I download both the 500k and 1000k options for the same clip, each version will start at a different point in time. In some cases, the clips are almost entirely different (but still from the same series!).

Just as I suspected, the content focuses on young-looking girls, but there are no amateurs here. Every model has that experienced look. Things are pretty straight up, mostly just the usual hardcore fare with some lesbian and solo scenes here and there. Things get a little rough sometimes, and these girls seem to like it.

Pictures can be found in two places: under the Pictures tab in the menu bar, or in the Movies section for each series. The pics in the Movies section are just screen captures, and bad ones at that. Lots of motion lines and what not. The pics in the Pictures category are much better, and seem to have been taken during a real photo shoot with a real camera. You can browse pages of thumbnail links to each series of photos, or search alphabetically by model name. You can view pics in two sizes: 800x600, or 1024x768. Both options look very good. Something I would like to see in the Pictures section are links to each page of thumbs in each series...you have to keep hitting the 'next' or 'previous' links to get to the beginning or end of a series.

The stories section features 24 WMA audio clips with a variety of naughty stories. These seem very scripted, and it doesn't help that the audio quality is mediocre. Digital artifacts as a result of low encoding (32Khz /128 kbps) make it sound like there's some sort of weird robot voice in the background. Seriously folks, if you have audio clips on your site, make it worthwhile. Make 'em sound good! Sheesh.

So, that pretty much wraps it up for original content here in the Teenie Palace. There are several other tabs on the menu bar, such as DVD Theatre, Movies 2, Live Chat, and Wild Girls. The first three categories mentioned contain a bunch of streaming third-party content. The Wild Girls category features a bunch of WMV clips of a wet t-shirt contest during Spring Break 2005. The video and audio quality of these clips is mediocre, and the action is not that wild. It's basically a bunch of girls in bikinis prancing around on a stage, with a bit of flashing here and there. Not to mention the “ass pudding” clip where girls sit in a big tub of pudding and then make ass-prints on paper. Yikes. Once again, my motto (I seem to be saying this a lot these days): 'If I can't download it, I don't want it.' However, in the case of the Wild Girls stuff I don't even want to download it.

Conclusion

The original content of Teenie Palace is actually quite good (except for the audio clips). Unfortunately, it's surrounded on all sides by a whole bunch of crap. There is waaaaay too much advertising and third-party streaming content on this site for my liking. It creates a huge amount of clutter, makes the original content hard to find, and is just plain annoying. In my opinion, you can get the same sort of content with way less hassle elsewhere.