Ass Smoothie Review

Intro promises

Part game show, part porn site and part nutritional beverage? AssSmoothie.com is a website so unbelievably frosty, so sexually nasty and yet so light and low calorie that it will have you looking at every hot woman you see on the street and quietly asking yourself: “Is she a Smoothie Girl?”

Every girl that comes to our studio gets "The Interview". We start by asking her a series of questions about her drinking and workout habits. Most girls admit they've had smoothies before so we ask them if they'd like to make one on camera. Watch as their faces dramatically change once we mention the smoothie must be prepared in their ass and then gobbled down their throats!

The Hardcore Network currently features 1271 scenes, totaling 317.33 GB of high-quality videos.
When you become a member of AssSmoothie.com, you get full unrestricted access to everything we have to offer.

No DRM bullshit, no limited trial access or partial scene updates: we give you 20 full updates every week.

First impression

I'm a huge smoothie enthusiast; though, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at my favorite blended fruit drink in the same way... not after seeing it squirt out of some chick's puckered ass hole!

The tour is well-done and really appeals to the dark side of my nature. Girls are brought in under the rouse that they're to be interviewed about their workout habits and diet. After what seems like a routine interview, they're also asked to prepare a smoothie. Hey, no biggie, right? Wrong! Soon after, they're asked to use it as an enema, shit it back out - and drink it!

In addition to the raunchy still shots, the tour further entices you by reminding you that the only way to find out which girls ran out of the studio or barfed is to gain access to the member's area.

Just like with the water-sports niche, all manner of trickery could be used here; fortunately, the tour boasts there are no cuts before or after the moments leading up to the girl shitting out the smoothie and proceeding to drink it. I'll be the judge of that!

Pricing

Our opinion

The members' page has a relatively simple design. Atop the page is a cute banner, which visually illustrates the 3-step, Ass Smoothie process. Directly below you'll find your main menu, which contains only three buttons: Vids, Pics, and Top Rated. In the middle of the page you'll find links to the latest updates. Judging by what I've seen, they update every two days - just like clockwork.

If you were dying to know the recipe for that delicious smoothie you saw pouring out of one of these babes' ass hole - you're in luck! For either that reason, or perhaps to somehow make your decision easier, they've decided to list the ingredients of the smoothie, and even the type of glass and garnish used. How thoughtful of them.

Speaking of which, there are currently 27 episodes available, all of which come in the Windows Media Player format with three quality options: Best Quality (Resolution: 1920x1080, Bit-rate: 7767kbps), Good Quality (Res: 960x540, Bit-rate: 2392kbps), and Fast Download (Res: 480x227 Bit-rate: 692kbps)

The Best Quality option looked incredible; however, the files are quite large, with episodes lasting clocking in at 300 megabytes. Fortunately, this shouldn't be a problem for those with higher connection speed. Download rates were lightning fast, averaging 1200 kilobytes per second!

Either way, it's well worth the wait if your system can handle it. These are some of the highest quality videos I've ever seen on a non-DVD site. When they labeled these High definition, they weren't kidding! The resolution was so big that the video wouldn't even fit on my pansy monitor. I can see these videos running rather sluggish on slower systems.

Hell, even the 'Good Quality' videos would pass for the 'best quality' at many other sites. And surprisingly, the 'Fast Download' option was no slouch, either. All in all, I'm highly impressed.

Sound good? It gets better! They stayed very true to their word on the tour. Not all of these girls are willing to do it, finding the idea utterly grotesque to the max. In fact, the very first episode I downloaded featured a girl who flat out said no. To tell you the truth, I don't know if these videos are real or setups, but this certainly adds a nice touch of realism.

Many of the girls do, in fact, go through with it, though. And thank God for that!

Starting the interview fully nude and seemingly emersed at whatever it was on her laptop screen, Amber Rayne gave the impression of a girl who is ready to get down to business. And after explaining a bit about the computer program she was playing with, and telling an admittedly, highly entertaining story - she did just that!

Cut to a few minutes later and she's in the pile drive position, with a speculum keeping her ass agape, having the contents of a lemonade and strawberry smoothie poured in her rectum.

After jumping around a bit to make sure the contents mix up nice in her bowels, she shat the smoothie back into the margarita glass. After the briefest of hesitations, she picked up the glass and spilled a bit. Ever the good sport, she knelt down and licked it up off the floor, then proceeded to drink every last drop out of the glass. Now that's what I call entertainment!

Amber Rayne has been around the block, and I wasn't surprised in the least that she drank it. And the bulk of these girls are all from the industry. It still doesn't change the fact, though, that what they're doing takes a strong stomach. It can and will sicken even veteran porn stars. Honestly, I can't find one genuine complaint about these videos, other than the fact that I wish there were more!

There are also pics here, which were either shot during film or are extremely highly-quality screen caps. Galleries usually contain 100-150 images. They're all in the JPEG format, have an average file size of 100kb, and a respectable resolution of 1000x750.

Your membership also gains you access to 'The Hardcore Network,' which, at the moment, has 1,272 videos, 5,7632 pictures - totaling 317 Gigabytes of content. There's 18 other sites on the network and just like this site, they all lean towards the raunchier side of the hardcore spectrum.

Conclusion

Ass Smoothie really comes down to whether you're willing to fork over such a high price for so little content. Is 27 episodes plus the bonus content enough for you? If you just have to see a girl drink a smoothie out of her ass, it's probably worth it. If you feel like you can wait, however, you may want to give them time to expand their content a bit more. The content however is pretty much flawless and actually delivers exactly what you will expect from a site with the name 'Ass Smoothie'.

Honestly, I just don't think there's currently enough content to warrant the high price of admission to Ass Smoothie alone. Your membership, however, gives you access to 'The Hardcore Network,' which contains 19 sites in total.

I find it troubling that there's a lack of time-stamps on their videos. The only way to see any at all is in the 'Recent Updates' section. This makes it difficult to ascertain how long they've been around, and how often they've updated; however, they have added three videos in the past week and a half.

Screenshots from Ass Smoothie

External Opinions

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