Earl Miller Review

Score 85.0 /100
Overall:
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About Our Ratings

Intro promises

Earl Miller promises a bevy of chicks in the high-brow Penthouse fashion that has helped make him famous. Glamour pours out of my monitor from just the cheesy tour alone. I feel like a first-class pervert with every click. The site dazzles you with hot bitc...hmm, I need to be proper here. The site dazzles you with excuisite renound models from the world over, and with over 1000 pics advertised this guy must really get around. I mean this in the most professional way possible.

Earl Miller promises us: 1000's of pictures, a feature centerfold every month, guest photographers, full length movies, daily updates, 15 live hardcore cameras, stories, famous pornstars, and bonus behind the scenes footage. Go ahead, grab your smoking jacket, favorite cigar, port wine, as well as your half-full jar of crusty vaseline and take a peek into the world of Earl Miller.

First impression

Being the upscale snatch hound that he is, Earl has not abandoned quality with this website. The opening page - while somewhat garish - does give you a peek into the detail and quantity to make his name an internet success.

Prices

Our opinion

As I sipped my martini I clicked to the members area and nearly choked on my olive. Earl has declared today, the day I review his techno wares, the day to display a butt naked Sylvia Saint spread out on a rock - actually a kinda strange martian looking rock - and looking oh so perfect doing it. Earl and Sylvia tease us by just glimpsing a wee lil' bit of that beautiful skunk hole of hers. Simply marvelous. The members page is semi-simple, all features - as mentioned above in the intro - are on the left side of the page moving top to bottom. scrolling further down the members page entirely, and you'll see that you're already in the picture gallery - and what a gallery it is.

The gallery features 200+ models. All of these have great color and quantity. Photo sets include: girl solo, girl/girl, boy/girl and threesomes. All partnered pics are hardcore and just over the top original work. Speaking of original, they don't ever really say it specifically, but a lot of his spank is unique and very un-common to find. Most of the models are pro and a vast amount well known. other photo sections, like the 'feature model' and 'model directory' contain such stars as Asia Carerra and Terra Patrick. All of the photo sections are simple to navigate and the feature model section is in alphabetical order. All in all the photos exceed anything i've seen in any other site. Way to go Earl.

I wish I could say the same about the film/video section. It's a bit of a mess and I really hate to even think about it; my head still hurts. You click, then get sent to a pay site. However, if you scroll down the picture gallery page you can watch the infamous Pam and Tommy fuck fiesta for free. Also, I went back to the pay theatre later on, it was going to download but then failed. It was really an awful feeling - just sitting there with a warm pickle in my hand. But hey, we're talking about Earl Miller here, so there's gotta be a plus to this film bullshit. And there is. It comes in the form of Private, and those of you that know Private already know what I'm talking about. The Private collection encompasses 59 scorching scenes including everyones favorite - double penetrations.

The rest of the site is pretty ho-hum. Ho-hum includes 'Earl's Red Door' which is some kind of weird on-line porn magazine. Kind of dumb-dumb really. The typical hardcore camera which blew chunks, and with the exception of the amateur section - that Uncle Earl buys - and the story section (Penthouse forum), all things are for sale. That's annoying, but not nearly as annoying as the pop-ups that seem to be all too frequent on these pages. Earl does not deliver every feature as described in the tour, but he has other features instead. Whatever. Fuck it, that's enough complaining already.

Conclusion

The site really does rock. With the exception of weak navigation, nearly unbearable films, and sales pitches that won't quit, this fuckin' dude puts out a good website. I know that three major weaknesses sound like a lot, but after you've seen the pics you'll understand that they're just trivial petty little things. Remember, he's a photographer and all you're doing is spunking to his pics.

Screenshots from Earl Miller

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