Naked News Review

Score 85.0 /100
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About Our Ratings

Intro promises

"Naked News TV! is a news infotainment television program featuring an all-nude female cast who deliver both the serious and lighter side of the news. The program is bright, energetic and fast-paced. It is the logical evolution of NakedNews.com, the first Internet news company to present the news with nude newscasters. The 50-minute television programs are produced weekly and feature the full cast of female anchors appearing on the daily NakedNews.com Internet program. Each new episode informs and entertains you with the lighter side of the news and the behind the scenes shenanigans of the Naked News® anchors. It's pure fun and truly is "the program with nothing to hide"."

"Daily Broadcasts & Updates. 150 Archived Programs. Downloadable & Streaming Shows. Live Interactive Video Conference. Downloadable Hi-Res Photos. Free Screensavers & Wallpapers. Specials & Bonus Footage. Full-Time Tech Support & Help."

First impression

I've heard the name before, as I'm sure most of you out there have. I'm excited to get the opportunity to explore my curiosity. It'll be interesting to see how the professionalism of the news broadcast works in or against the pornographic quality of it.

Prices

Our opinion

I was immediately impressed when logging into the site. The whole thing is organized in a very clear, logical fashion. In the middle, is a nicely sized television shaped window where you can play the latest episode. This is also where all the in site navigation takes place. On the left, you'll find all the links to the programs (current and archived). On the right is the technical side of things and the extras. The top is a quick link to the legal and support stuff. The bottom contains links to bios and pictures of the anchors. There's a lot going on, but it in no way seems cluttered or messy.

The cast currently isn't all that diverse. In the past (as you can see by browsing the older anchors' bios and pictures), there has been a broader ethnic spectrum. Right now, you'll see a majority of white girls. Within these white girls, however is a nice variety of body types, hair color and just overall facial structure. There aren't a bunch of clones working the telepromters, they're individuals. I would guess that there would be about two to three that would really catch your eye out of the ten major players. Those aren't bad odds.

The biographies are surprisingly informative. It lists their credentials and past jobs as well as what they hope to accomplish in the future. It's much more than just a stat sheet filled with favorites. There is some personality/hobby stuff thrown in there, but mostly it focuses on the newswoman. The site obviously holds a great deal of respect for their employees. They are more than just talking models, they are in fact newscasters. Nothing really captures this attitude better than their policy on nude photos:
"Naked News does not offer nude photos of our anchors. As much as we would like to provide them, we know that making high resolution nude images of our anchors available will result in unscrupulous persons using those images for inappropriate purposes or on unauthorized websites. If you see any high-resolution nude images of any Naked News anchor, you can be sure that they are fakes, and were not provided by Naked News. We know this is an inconvenience to our members but it is the reality of the Internet. That said, we will continue to add new pics of our anchors."

The pictures that they do offer of their anchors certainly are hi-res. You can download them onto your computer via the zip file. I think that's probably a little bit of overkill, since you only get one picture per zip. But hey, you get a picture that's of great quality and virtually life size to look at.

On to the show. You can search the archives of the show by date, by anchor or by segment title. This is a great system and very simple, thanks to the pulldown menus. You can download the shows and the individual segments as zip files as well. This is definitely a better utilization of the zip. The file downloads very fast and you no longer have to worry about streaming. Speaking of streaming, the show is available in three speeds (dial up, cable/dsl, high speed) in three different formats (windows media, real, quicktime). I like that level of variety. If you can, choose the high speed setting. Even the cable/dsl is a little too small and surprisingly pixelated. The full screen high speed version looks absolutely fantastic.

The show itself is a pretty standard news broadcast, except that the anchors stand in front of a green screen instead of sitting behind a desk in a studio. Oh, and they strip as they read the news.

The coverage is pretty good. They've been given praise for their news (especially the international side). The lack of "coverage" is also pretty good. I must say it's kind of odd to watch. It's obviously distracting to the news and not always appropriate, but you can't have naked news without the naked part.

The girls do well with their broadcasts. They read the stories fluently and never miss a beat while unbuttoning, unzipping, undressing. The interaction between the anchors however is forced and obviously scripted. That lack of solid delivery takes away from the rest of the broadcast. For the most part, these people know what they're doing, but they sometimes fall into that reading voice with the dropped octave ending (news voice) too often and inappropriately. The graphics are pretty cheasy, too. It's still better than I would have expected.

Another good aspect of it is the viewer's mail segment. This is their version of the lighter side of things. The anchors get to play around and show off their personalities a little bit better. Plus, it shows that they pay attention to their viewers and members.

If you don't want to watch the whole show, or if you're hooked and you want more, there's a section called the best of naked news. This is a place where you can browse through all kinds of archived content from interviews to holiday specials to radio (yes, radio) stuff to bloopers. As if the 150 most recent episodes archived on the site weren't enough, this is plenty to keep you busy. Some of the stuff lower on the list in the individual sections didn't link up for me, but enough did.

The site also offers such amenities as screensavers and wallpapers, if you are so obsessed. And if you are, you'll definitely want to check out the gift shop, where you can buy merchandise that features the site generally, or has pictures of your favorite anchor. There's plenty of variety here for those willing to purchase it. The site also has a featured website section. Normally, this would be where all the porn partner sites come in. Here, we get legitimately useful links to such things as online legal help, medical and financial info as well as charity stuff. If you want a break from the porn world, this is a good place to start.

Conclusion

It's a fascinating concept. They're obviously doing something right (which the website proves), because they've been going strong for a solid 6 years or so. I must say, this isn't overtly pornographic, and if you're looking for pure visual pleasure, this probably isn't the right site for you. However, I could see someone getting a few nice "wake and shakes" out of this. Overall, the site, like the broadcasts, is intelligent and well done. That price is pretty amazing, too.

Screenshots from Naked News

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