Money Talks Review

Score 65.0 /100
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About Our Ratings

Intro promises

“Money talks…bullshit walks! We’re here to show all y’all that money does talk! Just watch us go up to everyday normal people on the street and ask them what they’ll do for some real American greenbacks!!! If they got the time, we got the cash…and we’ll put them to the test!”

First impression

Get this: Money Talks, “a real Internet TV show,” pays random yahoos on the street to do crazy shit! What a novel idea! Some of the wacky things these fruitcakes pay people to do include: flash their tits for some bills, try on some lingerie “for the right price” and scream “money talks” while riding a skateboard in their underwear. Pretty wild, huh? I know, I couldn’t believe some of this shit either! Of course, the people behind Money Talks also pay women to bump donuts and fuck strangers on camera, which is certainly more interesting than watching some guy ride his skateboard in his underwear, though that sorta had its charms as well. Granted, none of this shit is as wild as Money Talks to think it is (particularly when you keep in mind the fact that every other porn site has a similar premise these days), but I guess that doesn’t really matter.

Prices

Our opinion

Money Talks is supposed to be updated every Wednesday and currently contains a whopping eight exclusive episodes. This lack of exclusive content is especially discouraging when you take into account the fact that Money Talks is not updated on schedule. At all. In fact, only one episode was added to the site during its first month! Talk about a rocky start! On the plus side, eighteen bonus reality sites with all original content come with your membership to Money Talks, including Cum Fiesta, MILF Hunter, Big Naturals, Mikes Apartment, Captain Stabbin, 8th Street Latinas, TrannySurprise, Mike In Brazil, Street Blowjobs, In The VIP, Mega Cock Cravers, We Live Together, Round And Brown, MILF Next Door, 40 Inch Plus, VIP Crew, EuroSexParties, and TopShelfPussy.

The members area of Money Talks has everything you need right on it, including thumbnails and short descriptions of the eight episodes currently available — just click on the thumbnail of the episode you want to see and you are taken right to a page with all the picture and video content for that episode. It’s just that easy! To make things even easier, Money Talks has a section in the members area called “my favs” where members can save their favorite episodes for future reference, though this function is virtually unnecessary for a site with just eight episodes on it (yeah, I’m really hammering that point home, huh? I’m just trying to guilt the makers of Money Talks to put some fucking content on their site...).

Each episode on Money Talks has a video that showcases the kooky adventures of the Money Talks crew, who wander the streets in search of girls to flash their tits and/or get fucked on camera. It’s reasonable enough to assume that the girls who flash their tits or perform other silly stunts are actually random girls plucked off the street, but I think it’s unlikely that the girls who fuck (themselves, men and other women) for Money Talks are amateurs — I think it’s clear these gals are ringers. I may have just ruined the magic of Money Talks by revealing that secret. Oops. Anyway, each episode is about thirty minutes long and is split up into one-minute MPEG clips and ten-minute WMV clips or can be viewed in its entirety in the Windows Media format. The videos on Money Talks look alright, I guess. Yawn.

Each episode on Money Talks also has a photoset containing well over one hundred pictures in it. The quality of these photo galleries isn’t that hot as they are all filled with screen caps taken from the videos, which is a bummer. The screen caps can be downloaded one at a time or in a single ZIP file, but it’s unlikely that you’ll want to download any of ‘em in the first place.

Conclusion

If money really did talk, it would say, “Don’t waste me on a membership to Money Talks, at least not until there’s more exclusive material on this site.” Seriously, kids, let’s do the math here: boring and clichéd premise plus very little exclusive content minus good quality pictures equals Money Talks. To borrow a widely used parlance of our time, talk to the hand, Money Talks. Not clever enough? Okay, how ‘bout this: Take a walk, Money Talks. Better? No. Well, to hell with it, then — if Money Talks doesn’t have to use up its valuable time making decent quality porn, then I don’t have to waste my time thinking up witty ways to insult it.

Screenshots from Money Talks

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