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Apneatic review

Summary: Apnea is a cute little package and former Suicide-girl who now shows off her tattoos and ever-changing hair colors on her own site. Photo series are very artistic and pretty softcore. Overall a good site if this is your style.


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About Our Ratings
Apneatic Picture screenshot
Author:
Joseph, 2006-07-11

Categories:
Personal-Amateur, Amateur, Photography / studio, Fetish, Sologirls, Softcore

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Intro promises

“Hi, my name is Apnea and welcome to my brand new site! You may remember me from LithiumPicnic.com and previously from Suicidegirls.com. Lots of people say I’m very pretty in an unconventional way, and nobody can figure out if I’m really a goth chick or not. I like to consider myself an artist. My photos are my art...with boobs! There’s really no way I could describe myself in this little space, so why don’t you follow me inside and get to know me better? Booya.”

First impression

Say hello to the lovely and tattooed Apnea, ex-Suicide Girl and self-proclaimed artist. Apnea has modeled for a few alt-porn websites (the aforementioned Suicide Girls, God’s Girls, Lithium Picnic, etc.) along with a number of fetish and fringe magazines (Gothic Beauty, Skin Two, etc.). An ex-Suicide Girl who has posed for Skin Two, says The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson is her favorite book and describes the photos on her website as being “art...with boobs”? Yup, Apnea’s hipster credentials appear to be in order.

Apnea is a tiny girl with tiny breasts whose ribs have a habit of poking out. Her hair changes color frequently but is often dyed black. Apnea claims that she’s been described as “pretty in an unconventional way” and that description is rather apt. Sure, her tattoos and crazy hairdos aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but no one can deny that this gal is quite fetching in her own way. I don’t know if you could describe Apnea’s look as goth exactly, but I bet you dollars to donuts she’s done a fair amount of shopping at Hot Topic. Apnea is an unconventional beauty, to say the least.

Our opinion

Basically, Apneatic is Apnea’s online modeling portfolio. But this isn’t your typical modeling portfolio, no sir! This site is home to dozens of photo galleries, a handful of videos, a message board, a journal and even a shop where you can buy prints of the model for thirty-five bucks a pop. My major beef with this site is that there isn’t nearly enough exclusive content—the vast majority of the photosets on Apneatic have been taken from various alt-porn sites that Apnea has posed for over the years. Granted, Apnea keeps adding exclusive photosets to the site (including webcam pics that can be viewed as flipbooks), but there’s always room for more, in my not-at-all-humble opinion.

Apneatic is updated fairly regularly and Apnea promises to add over one hundred and fifty photos a week (that comes to about one or two new photosets every seven days). Currently, there are seventy photosets on Apneatic, the bulk of which appear to have first seen the light of day on Lithium Picnic. All the photos on this site are absolutely gorgeous (remember, these are supposed to be art photos, so there’s a real affection for good photography here). Members can view the photos one by one or look at ‘em in a slideshow. Inexplicably, there’s even a gallery devoted to drawings people have done of Apnea — I’ll personally give you one hundred dollars in cash if you can successfully masturbate to any of those drawings. It should also be noted that members often post naked pictures of themselves on the message board, so no visit to Apneatic can be complete without a quick spin through the archives of Apnea’s forum.

The videos on Apneatic are pretty much worthless (sorry, Apnea, but it had to be said). These “video journals” open up in QuickTime in tiny boxes and depict our heroine talking about herself, working on her website and drinking wine from a box. The videos are grainy and downright pointless, but at least Apnea has the good sense to get naked in some of ‘em!

Conclusion

Apneatic is a wonderful little website that is bursting at the seams with beautifully shot photographs of an attractive gothic girl. If that sounds like your kind of thing, then I can assure you that you will not be disappointed by this site, especially if you’re already a fan of Suicide Girls or God’s Girls, the arch nemesis of Suicide Girls. If these cheesecake photos are in fact art as Apnea claims they are, then I can only pray that more art will look like Apneatic and less like Thomas Kinkade, the so-called Painter of Light, in the future.

Prices



$9.95 a month — first month billed at $14.95 ($9.95 + one time $5 processing fee)

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Online checks and credit cards are accepted as forms of payment.

Screenshots from Apneatic

Members area screenshot from Apneatic - click to enlarge

External Opinions

Don't take our word for it and see what others think! We have collected a list of opinions and impressions from other sites, so you can compare them all from one place.

Name Date Score
Adult Site Surfer 2006-08-22 84/100
Name Date Score
Total average: 84/100      Our score: 8.0/10

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